i get it im being punished

ive been a bitch in this life and the last

but dont you think ive suffered enough already?

i mean it was funny at first how much you would torture me

but now its just getting to be plain mean

you taught me to laugh at all the things that hurt

and i have mastered it but i still cant find 

some of these things you put me through funny

are you still laughing at me god,

do you enjoy watching me struggle?

i know you can hear my thoughts 

and know how much i outwardly complain

is nothing when compared to whats on my mind

i want to help i really do, but things keep getting worse

why cant you just tell me the answers to what i ask already

i swear to you i wont abuse things for my benefit alone

this life is not easy and i have learnt much from this cruel world

but i think i have learned my lessons, most at least

dont you think i am ready to be let back into the loop

send me some physical guidance or a physical being 

you know i have asked for someone to come help me my whole life

and your punishemnt was to make me learn to become a leader

well i am trying now, you told me this was my year to grow

so are all these things going wrong only another part of your test?